he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
