how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
