This house was built for laser tag.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
