We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
