My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Dear god my vagina.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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