I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
