It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
