your room smells of hookers.
And success
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
