i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
