The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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