I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
