walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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