we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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