plz talk dirty to me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
