dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
