First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
