i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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