well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You're like the curious george of whores
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
