I want to stick my p in your. b.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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