Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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