just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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