sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Randomize
