It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
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He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
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His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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