When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
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Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
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Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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