I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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