If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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