Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
