I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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