Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
