Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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