i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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