Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just puked most of my soul out..
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