Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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