Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am spending my child support on dildos
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
