So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
