Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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