awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize