he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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