so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
