Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
