sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
