after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
