Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
