i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
