Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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