remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
