I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
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HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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