i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
