after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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