I want to make a zoo with you.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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