he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.