dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We left the knife in your bed.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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