Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I feel like abortions should bother me more
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
God, I missed his penis.
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