When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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