so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Randomize
