yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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