I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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