I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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