well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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