ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
