she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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